The Boat Name Page

The Boat Name Page was one of the first web pages in the world! It evolved into one of the first “websites” from 1993 and set examples for this new thing called “ecommerce”. Boat name stories were collected from Usenet and have been coming in via email ever since!

Some samples from the original Boat Name Page.

Email me Your Boat Name Story!

Every year newspapers would call Marine Graphics in the spring for the latest greatest stories from The Boat Name Page and we’d get a little plug, but nobody knew what the internet was. We helped pave the way.

The following “best of” is edited from random posts on relating to “boatname” topics or threads.

Will your boatname weather this storm?

1) The Explanation Test. How often do you want to explain what the name means?Bizarre Greek gods, in-jokes, and foreign words _usually_ fail this test.Names that are difficult to spell fall in this category.

2) The Non-cute Test. How sappy is the name? Puns, childhood nicknames,and in-jokes _usually_ fail this test.

3) The Brevity Test. “Brevity is the soul of wit” and the soul of boatnames. Imagine repeating your boat name 3 times, sceded by a “Mayday”(or is that “M’aidez”, Pierre?). Still sound like a good name?

4) The Hubris Test. If you’re racing, try not to pick names like “MagicBullet”, “Blew By You” (see test 2), or “Clear Ahead”, unless you feel youcan live up to them.

5) The “Been There, Done That” Test. Don’t name your boat after a type of wind (Zypher, Sirroco, Breeze), a my tho- historical boat (Dawn Treader, Ra, Spray) or an alcoholic beverage. Unless, of course, that’s what the boat tells you her name is.

6) The Embarrassment Factor. Imagine explaining your boat’s name to someone you don’t like, and who doesn’t like you. If grudging respect is not a possible outcome, you may wish to reconsider.

7) The Corruption Test. What will your ‘friends’ call your boat? e.g. White Hawk=White Cloud or Serenity=Senility.

8) The Omen test. Followed a boat cutely nammed ‘Das Broke’ out one day. He promply drove over a submerged section of break wall at high speed and sank.

9) The radio Test. “Over and Out” would be a bad name. … “This is Summertime calling Over and Out. Do you copy?” Huh??

The above rules should be weighted by how much, if at all, you care about what others think of you and your boat.

(Credits the above rules were developed by reading issue after issue of “Latitude 38“, including (if memory serves) a short piece on the rules of naming boats. Lat38 is especially responsible for rules 1 and 4).