You Can Reach Me and Adam Sandler On My New Yacht

Adam Sandler
My new yacht in my dreams.

One day, I’m a total nobody, a has been who never was.

The next day, completely unexpectedly, I’m practically famous, hanging out with Adam on the Internet, thinking about our new screenplay and movie, mentally preparing some witty anecdotes for David Letterman and Conan O’Brien, wondering if Will Ferrell and Judd Apatow are as funny in real life as they are on film, and shopping for a yacht to anchor off the coast of my new home in Malibu. You know what? I’ll put in a pool. My wife and kids would love that. And I’ll get the latest X-box for the home theater. We’ll have loads of fun playing Halo together. And everybody gets a new cell phone with unlimited texting so we can Tweet about how wonderful our new lives are. I love Twitter and the opportunities it’s brought me!”